Loving someone whose mother acts like she’s part of the marriage is a unique challenge. My husband, Josh, is wonderful, but his mother, Diane, is a different story.
Diane is the kind of person who charms you with her warmth and thoughtful gestures, always remembering your coffee order and sending heartfelt cards. She’s the friend everyone wants. But when it comes to Josh? She believes her role is permanent.
When Josh and I got engaged, Diane casually commented on how “rushed” it was, referencing his old relationship. I should have seen the red flags, but love made them seem like nothing. The real trouble began when I got pregnant.
From unsolicited advice on my pregnancy to the constant boundary-crossing, it felt like Diane thought she had a right to control everything. One time, she even rearranged our furniture to improve “feng shui” for the baby. Another time, she threw out my snacks for being “unhealthy.”
But the final straw was when I was breastfeeding and Diane barged in without even knocking, acting like it was no big deal. Her sense of entitlement was overwhelming. Then, she demanded a key to our house, claiming it was what “good daughters-in-law do.”
Josh tried to appease her, but I couldn’t let it slide. So, I gave her a key to his old bedroom at her house. The next week, I caught her trying to use it to enter our house, and I calmly informed her it was no longer acceptable to just show up unannounced.
Josh backed me up, and a few days later, Diane finally admitted she had overstepped. She apologized and promised to respect our boundaries. The next time she visited, she knocked before entering, and even brought a gift—a doorbell—so we could “hear her coming.”
It was a small victory, but it showed that even Diane could learn boundaries, and I felt relief knowing our home was now truly ours.
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