Lately, I’ve been struggling to understand my mom’s priorities. At 70, she splurged $1,800 on a designer dress—just for book club and lunch with friends. Meanwhile, my son’s about to start college, and every bit of financial help counts.
It felt out of character. My mom has always been practical, the kind of person who puts family first. So when she casually mentioned the dress over dinner, I was stunned. I asked if she really bought it, and she smiled. “Yes. It’s beautiful, and it made me feel good.”
I couldn’t hide my disappointment. “Tyler’s starting college,” I reminded her. She calmly replied, “I’ve helped where I can. This was for me.”
I stewed over it. We’re not rich, and $1,800 could’ve gone a long way. I brought it up again, gently. “You’ve always said money should help others. This feels the opposite.”
She paused, then asked, “Do you think I’m selfish?”
“Honestly? A little.”
She told me a story—how she once passed up a dress she loved because she had a family to care for. She wore old shoes, counted every penny, and never chose herself. “Now that I’m older, I thought maybe I could—just once.”
Then she added, “I haven’t forgotten Tyler. I’ve been saving something for him—more than the dress cost. I just hadn’t told you yet.”
I was stunned.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I wanted you to trust me. And to know—it’s okay to do something for yourself, especially after a lifetime of doing for others.”
That changed everything. I’d let frustration cloud my view of a woman who gave us everything. If she chose one moment of joy, she earned it.
I apologized. She smiled and said, “That’s what makes you a good mom too. Just don’t forget yourself in the process.”
That night, I realized: love isn’t just sacrifice. It’s trust, grace, and space to be human.
Have you ever judged too quickly, only to learn there was more to the story? If this resonates, feel free to share. Sometimes, we all need that reminder.
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